"How to be romantic...Lesson 1"

There is many way to spend that day. First step in our case is to burn the kitchen and have a psychopath going after your ass, and yeah this time I'm not talking about Matthaios.

An apple pie.

The idea was more than simple.

I wanted to make an apple pie for Matt. Nothing fancy and with unbelievable design, just an old, good and tasty apple pie. Why? Because today was the so famous St Valentine and I was using the opportunity to be left alone at home to make him a surprise. I couldn't afford a gift and to be honest build something by myself that would be useful would be ridiculous, knowing how bad I was with a hammer in hand.

The plan, like the idea, was simple. I wanted to use the time alone to bake the apple pie and so to clean the mess I would make in the kitchen, before he would come back home. I wasn't the best cook in the world. I wasn't a cook at all. But I still tried, and this time I was sure everything would be fine. I had borrowed a book to have the recipe,I wasn't giving up and found a solution to overcome that problem. The Ipad of Matthaios, that I was using to play some games time to time, would be very handy to find a video that would explain in detail how to bake it on a site called Youtube.

If with all this, I couldn't make well.

Most of time when you want to please someone but have nothing to give, you always find a way to make/create something. The size clearly doesn't matter and the price involved either, we said it's the intention that count. And that's why, I couldn't fail today. Taking a deep breath, all the ingredients for the two different recipes, I was concentrated like never before.

The dough first needed to be done and chilled then I would take care of the apples. Video and book were saying the same: using a robot. Eyes on it for a while, staring and wondering how to make it works, I swallowed softly. It was specifically said, the dough had to be made with it but I didn't know how to use it! I had to try then.

For my luck the machine was working almost alone after the right button pushed but then my way to add the ingredient, wasn't conventional. And so it messed up. Without crying or anything close to lose my temper, I cleaned as much as possible the flour dripping from the closets, and started to work again on the dough but this time with my hands. It wasn't looking bad when I finally managed to put everything together and to mix it with my fingers. Sticky stuff to be honest, shaking my hands here and there, rubbing my forehead with the back of it, because of course my hair decided it was the right time to fall over, thing that I wanted to avoid. No hair inside or Matt would think Speedy or the Cat or even my wolf helped.

Dough done, it doesn't look bad and smell the right scent. I'm making a tiny happy dance because maybe it can work the way I want finally. The kitchen is a whole disaster but half of the surprise is done. Now the apples. A smile on my face, I grab them from the counter and take a knife with all the innocent and will someone who didn't had to deal with such fruits can do.

Theory of the conspiracy

Definition of apple. 1 : the fleshy, usually rounded red, yellow, or green edible pome fruit of a usually cultivated tree (genus Malus) of the rose family.

Reality : Two fingers bleeding, cut in my attempt to cut the said apple into slices that should be on the top of the pie. About to burn the whole house because I found the color so cool and sweet that I wanted the damn apple to look the same.

Burnt, the scent fill the air and the rest of the apples I have managed to save, is ruined and dying slowly in the pan I also managed to burn. The sticky and heavy smoke will stay around for a while and of course this will ruin even more what I tried to do here.

Fuck, fuck, fuck

The flammes are slowly growing up and I have to grab some water from the sink in one of the bowl I used to throw over the starting fire inside the kitchen. It doesnt prevent the wall to get new color, or the house to not have the scent of heavy smoke. Yeah nothing prevent this.

I think, I had stay staring at the apples, melting bubbling in their agony for at least 15 minutes, unable to realize that my recipe and the whole surprise was now ending because of clumsy attitude. I sigh, the sad and desperate one when I poke it and realize that I just made or create a stone made of dough. Who would have knew, flour butter and water with a spoon of sugar and salt would give me the rounded stone, I'm looking at. Walking like a zombie toward the fridge to pull out the dough, thinking that maybe I could add other fruits on it or maybe some chocolate cream.

Yes I will do that

I nod my head and try to not let the panic show up because I obviously ruined the whole kitchen to a point that I wont be able to make it clean before you come back. I just have enough fruit to make a last try, in attempt to succeed in giving you something you truly like. But cant cook them because well, the shitty thing is broken. A whine escape me, my heart is racing and I do feel the need to breath with the help of a bag. I grab onto my phone and press one of the three number I have to call Mauricius.

A while later~

Nervously poking the pseudo gift I have baked for you, I hide it under a kind of kitchen towel. This is clearly not fancy, doesnt look good, I lost my nose with the burning apple earlier so Im not sure its even edible but I have nothing left to give you for that damn special day. Sitting on the other side of the coffee table, I wait till hearing the familiar noise of your boat. I glance briefly toward the kitchen and dont feel at ease. The similar wave of panic come back and I try to look as normal as possible when the door open. I have of course solution ready but I did completely ruin his kitchen for that damn St Valentine stuff.

||Definition of the apple, doesn't belong to me but from a site on google, can't remember the name at that time.


What exactly got into me? It's Valentines day Yes I am thinking about the fact that it's Valentines day and it's not because I have chocolate and hearts shoved into my face whenever I don't ask for it. I am actively thinking about the day of lovers, overpriced flowers and pralines. Classy as I am.though, I didn't go for the cliche to bring home. Nope, I have a nice load of two decorated ice cream portions safely boxed up and wrapped into an insulated bag to keep it from melting completely in the summer sun while I fire up the boat engine to highest level.

It's been one hell of a long day. The plan was to be home by mid afternoon. Three or maybe four, but nope, first a minor incident with one of the kids, then cleaning took ages, then the parent of said kid turned up and discussed around. As if a little black eye has ever killed anyone.. Rolling my eyes to myself I shake my head and stop the engine by the small wooden pier. Someone hit me please, but I seriously and literally rush to tie the boat up and carry the bag with the ice cream like a breakable trophy.

Yeah. Someone. Please. Ah forget it. I'm not sorry here.

So armed with ice cream and a dumb smile I approach the house. And start to frown when I suddenly catch the scent of fire and smoke. Slow walking turns into a jogging run and I take the three steps in front of the house in one big jump before literally bursting into the house. The scent of smoke is worse in here and following my nose I look towards the kitchen, seeing the reason.

The ice cream containers almost drop from my hands. Tearing my attention from the disaster that is my kitchen, I look at Naly, sitting at the coffee table with a face as if the world had gone down or is about to well the kitchen obviously survived an armageddon during my absence but..

Naly.? Is .. that ?

A low whining noise escaped me at the sight.My Kitchen! I set the ice cream down, slowly pushing it across the table towards her, standing between coffee table and kitchen door, looking back and forth in between the smoke dyed everything and her.

So much for Valentine surprise Geez I run my fingers through my hair and just what a mess!!!


I watch you, because there is nothing I can do before it will fall on me like a hammer. I, maybe, hold my breath a little, nibbling on my lips, eyes following your movements. I wasnt stupid, I knew you would notice it, even if my nose wasnt aware about the scent anymore but it was clear you had a look and saw the different shade of black smoke now part of your wall.

Swallowing dryly, I give a look at the box you set close to me then keep my eyes down for a moment on it. I feel so bad that if I could I would crawl under the little table I tried to have in between us so instead of saying anything I just push the plate with the disastrous result of my attempt to cook toward you.

Im sorry truly sorryI just wanted to..

I feel like carrying the whole world on my shoulders and when I hear you whining, I have the feeling to be my wolf, ears bend down.

I tried to make you.. something.. She said it was your favoriteAnne said it was very simple to do

I lower myself again before to sadly glance toward the ruined kitchen.

"Im so sorry Matt..


I shake my head again and then look away from the smokey new pattern on the wall. The stench will take days to fade away, not to talk about cleaning the tiles and walls, cabinets and probably the stove. Pushing the thought aside I turn to her when she mentions having tried to make Anne's apple pie, which is indeed my favorite thing to eat.

You tried ah Naly

An audible exhale escapes me mixed with a sigh. I hang my head for a moment and shake it while walking over to her. Fucking cleaning will take ages, but what's left to do now that it happened? Walking over to her I squat down and take her hands, turning them around to see if the kitchen is the only thing that got burned. At least I cant find any burns on her hands or arms, all fingers seem to be mostly intact. Looking at the ..cake (?) ..that she pushed towards me I form the smallest smile and then look at her.

Two idiots we are, hu? You burn the kitchen I bring some almost lukewarm soup that was supposed to be your favorite ice cream..? Tilting my head and holding her hands in mine I give a brief chuckle. And thats why Valentine's Day is overrated. Because under pressure nothing works anyway.

If you keep giving me that look I will start to question myself about what you think will do to you now Lifting her face by her chin I run my thumb over her cheek bone where a black smudge is visible. Do I wanna know how bad the fire incident was. ? No..no I dont. Better if I dont, yeah something I dont know cant worry or upset me. Good plan. And fuck Paretas, dont make a remark about the result of her baking attempt. She tried.


I was so sure you would be mad, the last time I had broken only a plate or a bowl you chased me around the island and we had an argue like never before. I called Mauricius and I will pay for the reparation.. we just cant fix it today I was hoping that at least the fact I had looked up for solution would give me credit. But you surprised me, instead of being even upset, I got an inspection.

I was cut on my fingers few times and I was hoping also here that Naly would hide the evidence from you. But some cuts were still visible here and there. The apples .. vicious things.. I sigh frustrated and look at the plate still covered with the kitchen towel. I tried yes, a simple apple pie and I failed I was truly sorry and couldn't hide it, because seriously it sucks, I ruined literally the only other room in your house.

Here again you surprised me, pulling me out of my rambling when you forced my face up, I gazed into your eyes, shining blue fading slowly with regret. You bring back some ice cream? For me? I tilted my head the slightest bit and slowly pushed the plate toward you shyly because it wasnt looking like the picture in the book nor any on the internet. Yet I was still hoping it would be good enough to be given a try. Fortunately I wasnt thinking, right at that minute, that I could also have you poisoned by what I tried to make you eat. Yeah no Naly, please dont think at all.


Listening to her I start to understand that she truly expected some kind of punishment or angry outbreak. Damn I thought we were over that. Well, good thing that I don't feel anger. Sure I'm not happy, but it won't change anything at all. Looking at her battle wounds on her fingers I bring each one up and put a kiss on it. Yes.. I DO give her magic kisses. Look at her, she looks like a puppy awaiting to be kicked. Who can stand that ?

I can't make that pie either. Don't worry. I understand the struggle. Maybe.. the experiment is a delicatesse in disguise? Worth a try!! My puma stretches and gives a very low purr to make her understand it's okay and I will deal with the aftermath of her kitchen experiment when it comes to cleaning. Following her eyes I nod, hoping there is no blushing involved.

Yeah.. flowers and chocolate.. pff overpriced bullshit. We often have ice cream, so.. it's not a normal Valentine's thing just a little thing..surprise.. NOT because it's that.. roses and hearts day.. yeah..for you

Reaching for the boxes I look at the milky almost soup.

I better..put that in the freezer.. before it turns into a puddle completely When I get up I take a deep breath and scrunch up my nose briefly. Do me a favor and open all windows..or we better sleep outside tonight..that stench is really...ahm unpleasant..

Trying to ignore the fact that the usually white tiles have an ashy grey color now I open the freezer door and put the ice cream in- and stare in disbelief when the light inside goes out with a flicker next moment. And a second later silence. Complete silence. Freezer ceiling fan GENERATOR


You've got to be fuck!


I give you a soft and brief smile when you kiss the cut on my fingers, I know it wont help in any way but I do enjoy the attention and yes prefer this from being scolded by you. I give a look at the plate beside us. I know it doesnt look great but somehow I was hoping maybe, you would get a look at it, I push it away and focus on what you say and then nod my head. I wasnt awaiting anything to be honest. Its just after giving my course on the main island, that Anne told me about the pie when I was doing some errands, hearts and chocolate all over the place, lovey dovey couple and me, feeling like in another world, I was a real stranger around.

I like ice cream, thank you a lot..

I follow your motion and with your words, stand up to take care about the windows. The idea of sleeping outside tonight wasnt bad, after all it was better than to breathe this sticky scent in our sleep. I wasnt reassured to know you was in the kitchen, even if it was inevitable that you notice the disaster. Same feeling hitting like a hammer again the moment I hear you, I stay in a corner and just peek my head to the other side of the house where you are, knowing it might be only one thing, you saw it.


There is no doubt. The generator is dead. The silence says it all and the fact that the lights stay off when I try to turn them on..yeah you can't miss the problem. Standing in between the the evidences of the incident I look around and wonder what to do. No electricity means no coffee think Paretas improvise ah yes !!!

I look around to see where Naly is and with my fingertips I open some cabinets and drawers, take out two plates and forks, grab two bottles of cola from the spot by the backdoor and under her sceptic eyes I start to set the table. The table looks a bit naked there, so I go back to the kitchen, rummage through the drawers and who would believe it...I still have a few candles!

I snatch a towel from the side and throw it over my arm looking like a pseudo waiter when I stand next to the table that is now set for two. Plates. Forks. Cola, half used up candles- very classy. It won't get better than this, but there are candles.. so.. romance level is rising ! As soon as I find a lighter..

Standing next to the table I clear my throat and look at her.

Ahem welcome to our cafe.. Smokey island today's special is.. luke warm cola, served with a ..crunchy pie.. I would say..the baker gave her best and most love.. With that I pull her chair back and nod for her to sit with a little motivating smile.

Naly.. come here.. it happened.. the world won't end.. Pointing at the candles I give her a small wink. See you didn't expect so much romance, right? There will be..candlelight..!


Im impressed to see the will you put in dressing a pseudo table for us in the chaos your house looks like right now, but I do smile at the sight and all the effort you actually show to not burst into anger against me. I know you, or at least a little so.

I step closer and even let out a low chuckle with the candles that now really have to be used for something that is needed. After all maybe it was our fate and all was planned to come to a way that we can say : we really are doing a romantic St Valentines.

Im not sure its even edible so dont give me much credit here

I take a seat and wait for you to find the lighter when a noise outside catches my attention. Thinking at first its Speedy or Cat, Im still smiling till a face appears like coming from the shadows and the blood in my veins freeze.


I only have the time to scream your name to warn you before to jump aside when, the pervert glued to the window, aka my brother, throws a kind of flaming projectile inside toward the place I had been sitting in a few seconds ago. Lighting the whole house but also starting a growing fire inside on the almost completely wooden house.


If it's not edible, we can give a Romeo and Juliet imitation after the first bites

Yeah I actually chuckle, gotta make the best out of this situation even if I'm grieving over my kitchen right now. Her scream makes me spin around and the next I see from the corner of my eyes is something burning coming our way. Jumping aside my eyes move in direction of the attack's origin and something inside me clicks and I just KNOW who's face I'm looking at.

Awaiting another burning object, or whatever it is that he three at us, I make a move across the room, throw my arms around her and spin us around. My back towards the window where her brother stands, growls and starts to scream, I shield her with my body while my puma joins the action with a roar.

Whatever happens.. don't jump in between I tell her half curled around her smaller frame. Hot flames rise behind me, making my skin tingle and I push her forward a few steps. Grab what's important and get out on the back. Standing by the couch I let go of her and cup her cheeks. Eyes locked I repeat my words.

Out, Naly. Out and AWAY

Valentines day romantic my ass! Because yeah ..why light a candle, when you can have your FUCKING HOUSE ON FIRE!!